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This post was originally published over on The Marriage Mentality. It is a blog Mikey and I share where we write all about marriage, relationships and what the Lord is teaching us in our marriage. We have grown so much just from working on it, and our prayer is that it blesses you!
When you think about purity before marriage… what do you think of? Be honest!
You think of prude, uptight, old-school dating rituals that must be followed. You think of outdated rules and traditions. Impossible standards. You think about no staying out late. You think about no sex before marriage.
Granted, I hope you allow me some poetic license, because I am taking it to this extreme for a reason…
There is a huge emphasis for this type of physical purity before marriage… How far is too far? How much is too much? Where do we draw the line? All those questions swirled around. Frankly, everyone has their own thoughts on this matter. And I don’t think it is my place to tell you what I believe to be right. That is a conversation to have with your partner, and those around you who are supporting the relationship.
The focus of this post is to promote this same intensity for purity AFTER marriage. Because, after marriage, purity is just as important! It ought not stop at the altar. In fact, it must be guarded even more so after the wedding day!
So what is purity, then? And what is the point?
Purity stems from the desire to please your spouse more than pleasing yourself. Purity is more than just refraining from you know what…Purity is choosing to honor your partner with every single decision that you make. Purity is guarding your heart from romantic inclinations toward any person who is not your spouse. Purity is being real and intimate in expressing your emotions with your spouse. Purity is devoting your whole heart to your spouse, not allowing anything or anyone to infiltrate that scared place.
Purity in a marriage is not just a reference to sexual intimacy and monogamy. Purity in a marriage helps to promote confidence and unity between partners. When my wife knows that I have my eyes reserved for her and for her alone, she is drawn even closer to me. When I am secure in the knowledge that my wife is completely committed to me, it fills me with courage and with an overwhelming desire to try to please her even more.
Keeping your marriage pure is also an encouragement to constantly be pursuing your spouse… physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Infidelity in marriages occurs because one of the partners isn’t committed to the overall purity of the marriage. I’d venture to say that when the physical purity of the marriage is breached, it is because the purity of the marriage in the others areas have already waned.
Pursue physical purity by constantly pursuing your spouse romantically and intimately. And only with your spouse!
Pursue emotional purity by being open and vulnerable with your spouse. Be involved in deep, meaningful conversations. Share your feelings. Be honest.
Pursue spiritual purity by praying for your spouse and by encouraging your spouse in their relationship with God.
When purity is the goal, the relationship is secure and the relationship thrives.